Trying on a hat

The kids have been doing a lot of car dancing lately. I showed them how to do the shopping trolley, which didn't take them long to master, and then they were asking what comes next. So I started making up silly names for different dance moves to teach them. Mars in particular doesn't seem content to do any one move for more than a few seconds, so we've developed quite a list.

Today we were coming home from the shops when I hear Mars say "Mum, what comes after the shopping trolley again?", so we went through 'raise the roof', 'push out the walls', 'dry the dishes', 'point to the bee', 'dig a hole' and we got to 'try on a hat'.

Venus was awfully quiet through this whole routine - she is normally joining in and telling Mars what to do next. So I glanced back over my shoulder to see her sitting with her arms folded and a grumpy expression on her face.

I said "You're not dancing?"

In a grumpy, almost dangerous tone she announced "I'm already wearing a hat".

Two streets later she was pushing the shopping trolley and smiling again.

Where there's smoke

I've been reading Enid Blyton books to Mars and Venus for some time now. We began with The Enchanted Wood, which Mars' teacher is also reading to the grade at school. Yesterday we read the last three chapters of The Magic Faraway Tree, and tonight before bed we read the first chapter of The Folk of the Faraway Tree.

While Supernerd was getting Venus ready for bed she was being a bit silly and making things difficult, so to get her to behave he reminded her that if she got ready quickly I would be reading her a chapter from The Enchanted Wood.

She immediately replied "No Daddy, it's The Smoke of the Faraway Tree."

Now that would have been a very different book, I suspect.

The astronomer

Mars is a naturally curious kid and, like his Dad, he's interested in astronomy and what goes on in the sky. We often find we are on the receiving end of some pretty complicated questions about the nature of the universe which can usually be divided into three categories.

I take the easy ones - things like why do we sometimes see the moon during the day, and why does it get bigger and smaller?

Supernerd takes the hard ones - how do the rockets get to the moon, why do they need so much fuel, why do people jump on the moon? (I could probably field some of these too, but Supernerd knows all about rockets and moon landings, so we have a kind of unspoken agreement that this is his area.)

But the really tricky ones go to Grandpa - things like when there is a rainbow how do the colours know where they should be? (I just couldn't face trying to explain refraction without a prism!)

But recently I found that Mars was the expert and I the curious student, as he described to me the way that the sun goes around to the other side of the earth, taking tomorrow with it, and when we see the sun again it brings us tomorrow.

Just amazing.

I Spy

We play our fair share of I Spy at home and in the car. One day I was in the kitchen and Mars was sitting at the table when he suggested a game of I Spy.

Mars went first.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with g."

I said "Gorgeous Mummy!"

There was a long pause.

Mars said "Well, you are gorgeous Mummy, but that's not the right answer."

And when I told him that was the best thing he could possibly have said, he beamed. And so did I.

From prizewinner to Worst Mum Ever

Each year my Mother In Law enters a local country show, and because she's so clever and amazingly talented she usually wins. She's won prizes for lemon butter, flower arrangements and all kinds of crafts.

The last few years she has asked me if I wanted to enter something and I've always been too disorganised, but this year I thought things could be different. This year I had something gorgeous, something spectacular that I finished a couple of months back that would be perfect. My good friend got married and I made her wedding jewellery - a necklace and a pair of earrings.

It was also my plan to travel with my Mother In Law to the show on the day of the judging for some quality time together, but unfortunately the day turned out to be one of those days when you end up with (and this is no joke) five things on and no way to get to them all without a time machine. So a prior engagement meant that I couldn't be there in person, but I still managed to get the jewellery back from my friend and pass it on to my Mother In Law so she could put it in the show.

I found out today that I actually landed second prize, and I was pretty pleased with that. But sadly the good feeling was soon gone. Mars and I drove each other crazy most of the afternoon and into the evening. We both shouted and were both miserable and we both feel like I'm the Worst Mum Ever.

I guess it's true. Some days you're the Bantha, and some days you're the Bantha fodder. Feels like today I've been both.

Ain't no sunshine

There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

It's not warm when she's away

There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away

My sister, six years my junior, lives in the same country as me, but a long way away. At certain times I feel the distance more than others, and right now I feel every inch of it.

She came home recently to go to one wedding and stayed three weeks to be a bridesmaid in another wedding before flying home, and I'd just got used to the idea of her being around again when she left.

I love spending time with her because she makes me laugh and we have a lot in common. I guess you could say we are both the same kind of crazy.

But it's worse than that, because she's having a baby before Christmas and I feel the guilt of not being able to be there for her just in case she needs me.

Now, our parents will be there shortly after the due date, and her parents in law are also travelling north around that time. And she has a devoted and supportive husband whom I know will take good care of her, so she will by no means be alone or without help.

And yet I feel... I know a lot of words, but I don't know the word for this.

So the trip is planned but not yet booked to travel north after Christmas, and I am looking forward more than I can say to meeting the Tum Tum Monster.

Who bit me?

We were driving home from church and I heard this conversation from the back seat:

Venus: "Mars, I've got two bites on my leg."

Mars: "Really?"

Venus: "Yes. It must have been a dinosaur with sharp teeth."

Mars: "No, Venus. It couldn't have been a dinosaur. Dinosaurs are extinct. That means there aren't any alive any more."

Venus: "Oh. Then it must have been a alien."

A pizza revelation

Venus can be a fussy eater at times. She's not as difficult to please as some children I know of, but lately when we've had pizza she has flatly refused to eat anything. She used to eat pizza that only featured tomato and cheese. Then one day she decided that the tomato was just too much to bear so she stopped eating pizza altogether.

Lately we've been experimenting at home with making our own. I found a great recipe for quick pizza dough which requires no sitting around time for the dough to rise, and I'm sure the eight minutes of kneading is good for my arms. I'd like to think so, anyway.

But the best thing about making our own pizza is that we can put anything we like on it. Last time I made a half/half with leftover chicken curry on one side and chorizo, corn and fetta on the other side. Actually the chicken curry pizza wasn't too bad.

So yesterday when I said that we were having pizza for tea Venus did what she always does. She proclaimed "I don't like pizza!" in her best wail and started to cry.

Not to be deterred, I asked her if she would eat pizza if it only had cheese on it, and she said yes. As I was kneading the dough she informed me that actually what she really wanted on her pizza was vegemite and cheese - her favourite sandwhich filling. Considering that she'd agreed to eat pizza for the first time in ages I decided not to argue. Then as I was sprinkling chicken over the other pizza she asked for chicken as well.

A while later we all sat down with our pizza. Tuna, spring onion and red capsicum for me, chicken and barbecue sauce for Mars and Supernerd, and chicken, vegemite and cheese for Venus. And she ate a whole slice.

Well, almost a whole slice.

Blue wren

This is the blue wren who comes to visit at our kitchen window, although visit may be the wrong word. The window has a reflective coating on it so that our neighbours can't see in, but when he looks at the window he sees another blue wren. A blue wren that is trespassing on his territory, so he tries to fight it off. He flaps his wings and beats at the window. He scratches with his tiny feet to fight away his rival, and hurls his body against the glass. But all his energies are wasted because he is only fighting with his reflection.

Recently I had a problem with a friend. I mentioned it to Supernerd and his fix-it gland started working overtime. With the very best of intentions, and without asking me first, he tried to help by speaking to the person concerned, and made the whole issue much much worse. Everyone involved became very upset and, while I've spoken to the person directly since then and sorted things out, I was reminded of the blue wren.

All that anxiety and energy wasted on a stupid misunderstanding. At least we've learned from the experience.

The blue wren still comes to the window.

The magical power of Michael Jackson

Today is Tuesday. I know it's Tuesday because I had to get up a little earlier to drive Venus to my Mother In Law's house before taking Mars to school. We do it every Tuesday, and it's a system that works.

I remembered it was Tuesday before I was even fully awake. I remembered it was Tuesday when we were packing Mars' school bag because he needs to take his music books on Tuesdays.

When we got in the car I completely forgot that it was Tuesday and drove in exactly the wrong direction.

I was almost to school when I realised my mistake. My next mistake was saying out loud "Oh, I've gone the wrong way!", because that's when Mars began to laugh. I got all shouty and told him that it wasn't funny. Then Venus chimed in with "Yes Mars, it's not funny. Stop laughing!"

Anyway we had Michael Jackson on in the car this whole time and I hadn't really been listening. I'd been talking to the kids, distracting myself, driving the wrong way, realising my mistake and feeling angry. But once I glanced at the clock I realised we still had plenty of time to go the long way back and still get to school on time.

So I calmed down, smiling to myself at Venus who is well into the "parrot" phase of childhood, and started listening to Michael being "bad", and boy, did that cheer me up. Pretty soon I was car dancing and by the time we were driving the length of the court where my Mother In Law lives I was swinging the steering wheel just a little in time to the music. Not enough to be dangerous, but just enough so the kids could feel it in the back.

Then a little voice from the back seat says "Mum, what's wrong with the car?" and I just smiled.

Father's Day

Supernerd, I think it is fair to say, had a pretty good Father's Day this year. He got to sleep in, which can be a rare thing on a Sunday. When he stepped out of the shower there was a hot breakfast in bed waiting for him, and his presents were, for the most part, practical and useful, just like him.

He was also the recipient of many Jimi Hendrix CDs, which will be on high rotation for some time to come.

When Supernerd first got a mobile phone which was capable of using music files as ringtones he chose the beginning of Purple Haze as his ringtone. The children quickly became used to this loud and abrupt electric guitar introduction signalling an impending call.

There were times when Supernerd would be out with Mars in a noisy public place when his phone would ring in his pocket, and because Mars' head was right at pocket height he would be able to hear the ringtone, pull on Supernerd's hand and let him know he had a call.

This was some time ago, two phones distant and the ringtone has changed more than once since then. But still, every time Purple Haze comes on in the background at home or in the car, a small voice calls out "Daddy, your phone is ringing".

Cow is not a verb

I am often puzzled by the strange and sometimes wonderful turns taken by the English language, but there are some things that really get up my nose.

People who don't know how to use apostrophes should be banned from writing anything down. Ever. Even their own grocery lists, lest they buy pea's or mushroom's or ice cream's.

And surely natural law would dictate that the person responsible for this sign (in the window of a local cafe) would immediately be sacked. Or sued. I'm not sure what's best.

And cow. Cow is not a verb - although to be cowed is to be intimidated. So when Supernerd was playing MarioKart with the children and after colliding with a cow shouted "I've been cowed!", did I calmly explain that he was only correct if he found the cow particularly intimidating, or did I just shout back "Cow is not a verb!"?

I went for the shouty option.

And he told me to stick it in my blog.

Other duties as required

The phrase "other duties as required" has been included in the position description of every job I have ever held. Sometimes it has meant that I would be called on to throw a party with catering and decorations and fun things. At other times it has meant holding the hand of a patient while she had stitches removed from her other hand.

While sometimes closely related to the job and at other times wildly different from expectations, in my experience it is these things that have made my life more interesting.

The biggest job of my life, motherhood, provides daily opportunities for expanding my duties to include all kinds of unexpected things. The latest of these is this:

Mars (not his real name) went to school dressed as the Saucepan Man from The Magic Faraway Tree for Book Week, so naturally he needed a saucepan to wear on his head. I couldn't see how using a real one was going to work, so I knitted one.

Never thought I'd be knitting a saucepan!