Not long ago Mars was settling in for some screen time with Supernerd's old laptop. He arranged the computer and a large cushion on the loungeroom floor, lay down, got comfortable and switched the computer on.
Then I heard an old-man groan issue from his lips as he realised he'd forgotten something and he was going to have to get up again.
I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he'd forgotten to grab the mouse and plug it in. As the laptop comes equipped with a trackpad and buttons, I asked him whether he was doing something that particularly needed a mouse, or if he just preferred to use the mouse instead of the trackpad.
He pointed to the left mouse button on the laptop, which has been dodgy for a long time, and said "No, it's just that that mouse button is buggered....I mean stuffed! Sorry Mum, I meant to say stuffed!"
"Did you just say 'buggered'?"
"Yes, but I didn't mean it!"
It seemed like a genuine accident, so I didn't give him a hard time. I just reinforced that it's really not a nice word for a child to use, and that I shouldn't use it either.
Less than a week later...
I was trudging up the street to visit Ms Awesome, and as I made my way through their front yard I found myself shooing the local wandering dog. Let's call him Fozzie.
Fozzie lives around the corner from Ms Awesome and Captain Spreadsheet, and his humans let him wander the streets leaving deposits on the neighbours' lawns. They don't think it's anything to worry about, but Ms Awesome has had enough of finding barker's eggs in her front yard. So the X-Man has learned to shout at the dog "Go home Fozzie!" from the front porch whenever he sees the dog in their yard.
So I was loudly telling this dog to go home, and just as I drew level with the front door the X-Man flung the door open and screamed at the top of his lungs:
"Bugger off Fozzie!"
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I've taught the neighbours' child a wonderful new word, but it wasn't me.
I got inside to discover his mother with her head in her hands, because all he'd done was repeat what she'd said.
She sat on the naughty mat while X-Man's father explained to him that that word is not a nice word for children to use, and Mummy really shouldn't use it either. Even to dogs.
Oh bugger.
Less than a week later...
I was trudging up the street to visit Ms Awesome, and as I made my way through their front yard I found myself shooing the local wandering dog. Let's call him Fozzie.
Fozzie lives around the corner from Ms Awesome and Captain Spreadsheet, and his humans let him wander the streets leaving deposits on the neighbours' lawns. They don't think it's anything to worry about, but Ms Awesome has had enough of finding barker's eggs in her front yard. So the X-Man has learned to shout at the dog "Go home Fozzie!" from the front porch whenever he sees the dog in their yard.
So I was loudly telling this dog to go home, and just as I drew level with the front door the X-Man flung the door open and screamed at the top of his lungs:
"Bugger off Fozzie!"
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I've taught the neighbours' child a wonderful new word, but it wasn't me.
I got inside to discover his mother with her head in her hands, because all he'd done was repeat what she'd said.
She sat on the naughty mat while X-Man's father explained to him that that word is not a nice word for children to use, and Mummy really shouldn't use it either. Even to dogs.
Oh bugger.
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