Wrong number

Supernerd and I have lived in five houses together. One house we lived in had the old phone number of a dojo somewhere, so we used to get the occasional confused person trying to book in for a class or find out our opening hours. That was entertaining.

Another place we lived had a number very similar to a nearby restaurant. At odd hours of the day and night we'd get phone calls for them too.

A few weeks ago I got a call from a woman who clearly thought she'd rung someone else. When I picked up the phone and said "Hello, Alison speaking" she wasn't listening.

There was a lot of background noise on her end, it sounded like a few kids yelling at each other, so I waited. Then she put the phone to her ear.

She said "Hi, I want to order some pizzas for delivery" with the rising tone at the end that suggested she was asking a question, even though it wasn't a question.

Now sometimes, in the moments between seconds, wicked little thoughts flash through my brain. I had one of those moments.

A tiny little voice in my brain said "Oh go on, take her order."

My rational voice said "No, no! Wrong number. Tell her she's called the wrong number."

"Take her order. She'll never know."

"But it's a wrong number!"

"But don't you want to know what she wants? How many pizzas? I bet it's a lot. Sounds like she's got a few kids there."

"But I'm not the pizza shop!"

"Go on! She'll never know it was you!"

I opened my mouth as she started to give me her order and said "Hold on, I'm going to stop you there. I'm really sorry but I'm not the pizza shop. You've called the wrong number."

She said "Oh, thanks." 

I laughed and said "I mean, I can take your order if you like, but you'll probably never get your dinner."

She laughed, said thanks again and hung up.

All this left me wondering what on earth is wrong with my brain? For a fraction of a second I was seriously tempted to take this poor woman's pizza order and just leave her hanging. But if I had I just don't think I could live with the guilt of having done it. I'm not good with guilt.

Mind you, if she ever calls back when I've had a few drinks... she'll never see that pizza.